


they’re so pretty, it hurts

by strawberryfire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy is a good brother, Harringrove, elmax - Freeform, max has a breakdown, max pulls a Beverly marsh, tw: smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 19:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21276428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfire/pseuds/strawberryfire
Summary: Max has a breakdown, pulls a Bev, and Billy does his best to comfort her while they talk about the pretty doe eyed brunettes they’re in love with.





	they’re so pretty, it hurts

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on my tumblr if u wanna rb it!! :)
> 
> tumblr is harringrovesfawcettspray ❤️

The crispy autumn leaves fly underneath the wheels of Max’s skateboard as she makes her way to Cherry Lane. The sky is dull and the wind is biting at Max’s face.

Luckily the driveway was empty, meaning her parents were still at work and Billy was at basketball practice or something. She didn’t care.

There was a note on the door, saying Neil had gone out of town for work and Susan had gone with him to visit family in Chicago.

Max sighs and walks in, throwing her book bag on the ground. She knew Billy was for sure going to go to Steve’s the moment he knew Neil was gone.

Max opens the fridge, which was mostly empty and she sighs again, closing it before dragging herself to the living room and flopping back onto the couch.

For some reason unknown to her, her emotions felt like they were on the edge of a cliff that lead down into some bad stormy waters. She feels so shaky and she knew why. A rock fell every single time she merely looked at the sparkly brown eyes that belonged to her best friend.

El was different around Max. But never in a “I like you” way. El laughed more, smiled more, was more herself. She never acted that way around Mike or any other of the boys.

Max noticed quickly how her cheeks burned whenever El lay beside her during their sleepovers. How her heart raced, she would stutter when she talked, or lose her train of thought if she looked at El for too long. How El occupied her dreams almost every night.

It was never Lucas. Max could talk, could think, could fucking breathe when she was with Lucas.

When she was with El, Max’s chest hurt. It made her scream into her pillow at night. Sometimes she’d even cry herself to sleep because she couldn’t feel this way.

It was something that made you want to throw up.

She’s watching Full House and it makes her heart start racing. She was so jealous. So jealous of every fucking couple on that show and every couple she knew. Jonathan and Nancy could be happy. Joyce and Hopper could be happy.

Mike and El.

Mike and El could be fucking happy.

Max tugs at her hair and she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to make all those thoughts go away. Why couldn’t she be normal? Why couldn’t she just like Lucas? Why couldn’t she be happy with him?

Her heart would never let her, because she knew she could only be happy with El. Even though that could never happen. Not here, at least. Not in Hawkins.

She goes to her room and grabs her secret pack of cigarettes from under her side table. She sits on her bed and lights one, staring at the wall.

Max catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and the first thing she looks at is her hair. Her stupid hair. The thing Lucas loved most about her.

She didn’t want that anymore. She didn’t want Lucas to love anything about her, she wanted El to love Max’s hair, her freckles, her eyes. She wanted El to be the one complimenting her all the time.

Max pushes herself off the bed and drags herself to the bathroom, sticking the cig in her mouth.

She looks at herself in the mirror and just breaks. The circles under her eyes were getting darker by the day, there were tear stains on her shirt, the fact that she was 14 and smoking a fucking cigarette.

And of course, her hair. Her fucking hair. It was tangled and frizzy. She hated it. The way it stuck to her neck made it feel like it was choking her.

She storms to the kitchen and grabs the scissors, her vision blurred by her tears that she knew wouldn’t stop for hours.

Max goes back to the bathroom and ties her hair into ponytails. Her hands are shaking so fucking bad. She feels like a live wire, every bit of her body was on fire and she didn’t hide the sobs escaping her throat since she was alone.

She holds the scissors up and just presses down. She just cuts and cuts and cuts, until her hair is just about her shoulders.

Her knees give out and she leans against the sink, “Goddamnit!!” Max sits there sobbing for what seems to be hours.

Soon she has no tears left to cry and she feels so incredibly empty. Cutting her hair only solved a tiny bit of the problem.

She hauls herself over to the tub and sits down, putting her legs over the edge. She takes in a big drag and feels her body shake again. Blowing out the smoke, her vision gets blurry and the world is spinning. She just squeezes her eyes shut again.

—

Billy drives up to Cherry Lane at around 6:30. Steve, of course, begged Billy to stay and smoke a joint at the quarry before they both headed home. Steve’s parents were in town, meaning Billy wouldn’t be able to see him for the next couple nights.

Billy walks up to the front door, reads the note and cheers happily, “Yo, Max! We’re parent free!”

Silence, besides the laugh track from Full House on the TV.

He notices her backpack and skateboard, meaning she hadn’t left, along with the smell of smoke coming from down the hall.

“Max?” He calls out again.

He makes his way to her room and knocks, “Shitbird, you in there?”

Billy’s heart immediately drops to his feet when he walks into her room and she’s not there. He looks behind him to the closed bathroom door and a strangled noise creeps up his throat.

He knocks again, “Max.”

No answer.

He slowly pushes the door open.

She’s sitting in the tub, her head leaned back on the wall, smoking slipping out of her mouth. Her shirt and cheeks are covered in tears with pieces of hair all over her. She’s silent.

“Jesus Christ.” He murmurs. He looks at the ponytails on the floor, the scissors in the sink and the lighters and cigarette pack on the edge of the tub.

Billy pulls off his denim jacket and puts it around her shoulders before sinking down beside her.

“Can’t imagine you’re too comfy, Max.” He says, keeping his voice soft.

She doesn’t reply.

He ruffles her hair a little, “I like it.”

Still nothing.

“Max, you’re givin’ me the heebie jeebies. Talk to me.”

Whatever energy was keeping her head up disappears and she rests her whole body against Billy’s.

He puts his arm around her and just sits there.

“Talk about it when you’re ready okay?” He whispers. He feels her nod, just a tiny bit.

Billy’s never once gotten a hug from Max. Not even a high five. This was the closest he had ever gotten to her and it felt like he was holding a porcelain doll. One wrong move, one wrong word, and she would shatter.

He didn’t feel a connection with her, but he was so scared. She was only 14, she shouldn’t be like this. All he had ever wanted to do was protect her. Guess you can’t really protect anybody from the real world, he thinks.

A few minutes pass and Max wraps her arms around Billy’s torso, her back shaking as she starts crying again.

He hugs her, rubbing her back, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He repeated hushed.

“You…You think the hair looks good?” She whispers, her voice so tired it breaks Billy’s heart.

“Yeah. Yeah, it looks nice.”

She nods again, then goes to put the cigarette up to her mouth and he takes it, “C’mon, ya gotta share.”

A very small smile twitches on her lips.

“Y’know. It’s funny, we got the same type.”

Max looks confused.

“Brown hair. Pretty little doe eyes.” He blows out smoke and laughs a little, “Clueless.”

Billy feels her heart rate speed up.

“What…what do you mean…?”

“El, that’s her name right? You call her Ellie. She likes Wonder Woman and Eggos.”

Max starts blushing scarlet and hides her face behind Billy’s jacket.

“That’s fuckin’ adorable, Maxie.”

“Shut up.” She mumbles.

“It’s funny, ‘cause I fell for your fuckin’ babysitter.”

It takes a minute but when it registers in Max’s head, her eyes widen, “Oh gag me with a spoon, Billy!”

He laughs, really laughs, “I don’t even know why. He’s an idiot, dude.”

“Exactly!” Max giggles, “You could do so much better.”

“Hmm, but could I? Here?”

She shrugs, “Touché.”

“So, tell me more about this Ellie girl.”

Max furrows her eyebrows, “It’s El. Only I can call her Ellie.”

“Alright, alright.”

Billy grabs the scissors and fixes Max’s hair as she rants about the pretty girl with pretty bambi eyes. They end up ordering pizza and sharing a cigarette, with Max laughing about how in love her idiot step brother was with Steve Harrington.

They fall asleep on the couch, Full House still on the TV.


End file.
